mi duele mi tetes

How good's your spanish? Mine isn't fantastic though I can get by - my lack of total mastery is probably because at school I enjoyed making random phrases that I found funny rather than learning the lingo properly. Hence my favourite phrases: "vamos el banco con una ciergo burro", which I believe translates "we go to the bank with a blind donkey", or "trigamos mas vino, rape", which I believe translates as "bring more wine, monkfish".

The title of this piece of blog is a cross created of two different sources. I didnt like learning the Spanish language much at GCSE level but the phrase "mi duele mi cabeza" (I've hurt my head) for some reason has stuck in there. The last word I heard one evening but only learned the meaning of a day later - and too late to be useful. I was on a camping type trip years ago with my mate Jamie and his spanish girlfriend and her spanish mate, who knew no English. It was fairly cold and this girl said to me "mi tetes esta frijo", which I only later learned translated as "my tits are freezing". Now there's a chat up line if ever I heard one.

OK Nels, you've deconstructed the title. Where are we going with this? Nowhere really. I have indeed hurt my tits, having embarked upon a savage bit of muscle workout. You see, being a veggie you are sometimes like a walking advert for the cause if you actually care about it. If you are skinny, pasty faced and always ill then people look at you and say "ah. The veggie diet is rubbish". However it doesnt work the other way. If you are a stinking wretched fatso with heart and stomach problems no-one says "ah - the meat eating diet is rubbish". So as a walking advert I have taken on responsibilities. One is to be slim and athletic and well muscled. Since I got my chin up bar set up I have been really going for it, ten here, ten there, reverse chin ups, and while I'm at it - the bar weights and the bullworker thingy. As a result I am aching a fair bit and am going about fondling my tits like a goddam pornstar. But I refuse like my peers to give up and descend flabbily into the lazy quagmire of middle age. I'm still a young lad!!!